THE LAST WORD: GADGETS
Illustration by Ryan Thomas
Like the editor of a gadget supplement, I occasionally like to cast my mind into the future and imagine what the indistinct residents are doing for entertainment. Right now, I’m seeing waterproof screens so that means you can watch YouTube while you wash up, have a bath or sit on the toilet. I’ve mentioned this prediction in conversation and come up against a fair amount of resistance, mostly from these fastidious types who can’t see past the bacteria lurking in a damp crack. I’m also worried about the reaction of the chiropractic community. I recently had a conversation with a Health & Safety inspector who described the current proliferation of laptops as the lumbar equivalent of the Black Death. This tender concern for the state of humanity’s spine was followed by an eight-week period of resolutely not ordering my screen riser. ‘People like that give Ned Ludd a bad name’, commented a colleague.
Air Guitar is exactly the sort of thing I imagine futuristic workers watching while they snatch some down time in the bathroom. This meant that I approached Air Guitar Nation, an 81-minute documentary about the Air Guitar World Championships in Finland, with some hesitation. I thought it might not sustain my interest, like tic tacs won’t sustain huskies. Happily, I was totally wrong. Like a lot of performing, Air Guitar requires a blend of talent and enthusiasm. Air Guitar is different in that zero talent is fine just as long as enthusiasm takes up the slack. This means that the competitors display a charmingly self-deprecating brand of bluster. The only moments of self-importance in the film come from Zac Monro, a retired air guitarist who styles himself as some sort of guru. His zen posturing is presumably meant as a joke but it’s annoying anyway and almost spoils his succinct summary of the appeal of Air Guitar – ‘There is something’, he says, ‘intangible about it’.
While I’m on music, I have to mention the Chemical Brothers gig in Trafalgar Square. Watching it reminded me of the scene in Humphrey Jennings’ Listen to Britain where a group of Blitz-weary Londoners (including the future Queen Mother) turn up at the National Gallery to watch a string quartet performing in front of Uccello’s Battle of San Romano. Obviously, it was the location, not the music that made the connection for me. Gadget freaks might have been disappointed by Westminster Council’s embargo on the Chems’ lasers but at least this show was prompted by something called Beck’s Futures rather that imminent military collapse, so it has to count as progress. Acid House in the streets? All within 100 yards of the Wilton Diptych, I never could have predicted that.
CJ Magnet